Self Esteem
Radical Acceptance ~ Slow Read Week Two
June 25, 2026
— CHRISTINE SPARACINO
This week we read Chapter 2 - Awakening From The Trance: The Path of Radical Acceptance.
In this chapter, Tara Brach explains the concept of Radical Acceptance in a fuller manner. She offers us several stories to illustrate her points, starting with the tiger in the zoo who was given a larger habitat and yet did not venture out, remaining confined among imaginary boundaries.
The tiger illustrates how we remain trapped in patterns and belief systems that are not based in our current reality.
“Perhaps the biggest tragedy in our lives is that freedom is possible, yet we can pass our years trapped in the same old patterns. Entangled in the trance of unworthiness, we grow accustomed to caging ourselves in with self-judgment and anxiety, with restlessness and dissatisfaction.”
The two parts of Radical Acceptance - the noticing and recognition of what is and the self-compassion - offer us a way to break free from limiting patterns and to let go of the beliefs about our own unworthiness. When we realize we are in a cage of negative beliefs, we acknowledge what we are thinking and feeling, and with self-compassion, we allow ourselves to feel the emotions without resistance.
Brach defines Radical Acceptance as “clearly recognizing what is happening inside of us, and regarding what we see with an open, kind, and loving heart.”
Just like the tiger was conditioned to live in a small cage, we too have been conditioned to believe certain narratives about ourselves and to create stories about the things that happen to us. When we let our internal stories carry us away, we lose touch with reality and are living in a trance.
“Our attentive presence is unconditional and open - we are willing to be with whatever arises, even if we wish the pain would end or that we could be doing something else.”
This is how mindfulness allows us to see what is actually happen, not the story that lives in our minds. Once we can clearly see, then we can bring compassion and kindness to ourselves, and to the pain we may be feeling in the moment.
Brach gives us another example to illustrate the points more clearly. She shares about an experience with her spiritual teacher and the statements he made about her among the spiritual community, hurting and shaming her in the process. She shares with us how she used mindfulness and self-compassion to move forward from this hurt.
“May I love and accept myself just as I am.”
She breaks down a few myths about Radical Acceptance:
Brach suggests the path forward is not a ladder ascending to perfection but rather a journey towards wholeness, without judgment or insecurity.
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” Carl Rogers
From the mindfulness perspective, we are encouraged to consider the stories we are telling ourselves about what is happening. There is the event (i.e. “my back hurts”) and the narrative we construct about the experience (ie “my body is falling apart,” “I am losing my health,” It’s only downhill from here”). It is these narratives that keep us limited and believing that when unpleasant things happen to us, that it means something greater about ourselves.
Reading this chapter, I am reminded once again to pause in moments and adjust my vision so that I can clearly see what is happening (not what I’m telling myself) and to bring self-compassion and gentleness to my experience.
The example of chronic pain in this chapter reminded me of Jon Kabat-Zinn’s books which I read in my early thirties. I was having some considerable health challenges at the time and experienced chronic pain for many years. His books “Full Catastrophe Living” and “Wherever You Go There You Are” were my introduction into the world of mindfulness and acceptance. (In case you are unfamiliar with Kabat-Zinn, he created a mindfulness program for chronic illness that demonstrated significant health improvements for the participants.)
Having chronic health problems and pain is objectively difficult. There are many appointments, medications, and tasks to manage one’s health. Then there is the implicit burden of these activities. Even if we follow the prescribed path closely, we still may not regain our health.
Humans as a species don’t want to be in pain or limited by their bodies. So you can understand why it would be life changing when our health status changes in a way that we did not ask for and would rather avoid.
My question to you is - Is the way we think about our health status causing additional suffering? Is it our relationship to our bodies that is exacerbating the experience? What might we try instead?
If we follow these questions further, could acceptance open up energy and space to approach our health differently? Might we reframe ourselves (in the light of chronic illness) differently?
Anxiety keeps us thinking of the future and distracted from the present moment. (It is said that depression is focused on the past). Often we are predicting what could or might happen to us, and the circumstances are usually grim. We rarely predict that everything will go well. With these predictions, we often do a lot of work (at least mentally) to prepare ourselves for the worst case scenario, when often our preparation is just wasted energy because the worst does not happen.
The double whammy is that our brain cannot be focused on the present moment and the future at the same time; it must choose one or the other.
This is why the practice of mindfulness can be helpful in terms of neuroplasticity. While our anxiety triggers our thinking to be future-focused, with mindfulness we can gently bring our attention back to this moment. As we do this repeatedly, new pathways in the brain are formed, the task becomes easier the more we do it, and our anxiety improves over time.
This chapter also touches on scarcity mindset- the idea that we can’t trust the good in our lives, that it will get taken away, that we don’t deserve the good when it comes our way.
Do you notice this type of thinking in your own life? A mistrust of the good, believing there is not enough?
In the present moment, could we actually have what we need? Or enough of what we need?
For many of us, compassion can be a difficult concept to grasp and practice. Raised with high expectations, or large ambition, compassion often gets labeled as weak or self-indulgent. We live in a culture that reinforces messages of pushing through, trying harder, not quitting. Which is why self-compassion is even more important.
Self-compassion is extending the same kindness you would offer a friend to yourself. Most of you would not behave like a drill sergeant with a close friend, but often do it to yourself. Self-compassion asks us to suspend judgment towards ourselves.
For high achievers and perfectionists, this is an underdeveloped muscle that needs practice.
How might you be compassionate towards yourself today?
I encourage you to make notes in your journal of what stood out to you this week. You can pick one question or two that I have shared in the Reflections and journal on that.
Alternatively, Tara Brach shares a meditation at the end of Chapter 2. You can listen to my recorded meditation or try recording it yourself and listening, and then noting in your notebook what you noticed. You could write down observations of how the meditation felt while you were doing it and how you felt afterwards.
The reading for next week (July 3-9) is Chapter 3. I know it’s a holiday in the US, so if you don’t get to the reading this week, there is a planned break the following week for you to catch up.
I hope you enjoyed this week’s reading. If you have comments or questions, drop them in an email to me. I’d love to hear from you!
Until next time!
