The Latest Articles

Based on two recent articles about the use of AI for psychotherapy, should we pursue a chatbot therapist? And if not, how should we use AI for mental health? Dr. Christine Sparacino shares what she feels is helpful and healing in psychotherapy.

In today's post, we talk about the problem with burnout. One sure path to burnout is pretending that we have no needs. This is especially common for the empath, helper, Earth type, who diligently attends to the needs of people around them, while ignoring their own needs. If we were shamed as children for being "sensitive," or made to feel that we were "needy," the shame keeps us pretending as adults that we are superhuman and living as if we have no needs.

Lessons from Chinese medicine and the earth type | For empathic helpers and earth types, we are called to mother ourselves as well as we mother the people in our lives. Instead of running ourselves into the ground, making sure that all the needs of others are met, we are challenged to extend that same care to ourselves. Not as an afterthought. Not at the end of our day if there's time and energy left. We are called to mother ourselves, deeply and tenderly.

As Dr. Christine Sparacino identified her Five Element type in Chinese medicine, she began to question if what was assumed about her (that she was an Earth type) was actually a trauma response rather than her true nature. What if our true nature is hidden under a learned trauma response? What happens when we are willing to break free and start relating in a new way?

Earth types often care very well for the people in their lives, but frequently forget about themselves. This leads to burnout and exhaustion, as well as many physical symptoms. Dr. Christine Sparacino discusses the Earth element in Chinese medicine and offers insights of how to manage the Earth-ness.

What happens when the way we view our health, view our bodies is challenged? When the way we see ourselves is confronted by an external reality? Dr. Sparacino shares about her experience with chronic illness and the relationship with her body.

What do we do with the ache that remains, the grief that lingers, years after the loss? How do we move forward when in moments, the grief pulls us back in? How do we live with loss? Dr. Christine Sparacino shares insights into a personal loss of her own and what she has noticed in the years that have followed.

If you have chronic illness, you know there are probably 100 things a day you can do, "should" do, for your health. But how much fawning is showing up as a response in our healthcare? Are we trying to be a "good patient" in the hopes of feeling more energized or well, and how much is it costing us?

In autoimmune disease, the body confuses self and non-self, leading to attacks on its own tissues while confusing them with invaders. This pattern of responding can mirror the internal and emotional worlds of people living with autoimmune illness. Often the helpers and empaths and highly sensitive people, who also tend to be afflicted with chronic illness and autoimmune disease, experience a blurring of the line where they begin emotionally and where they end. What is them and not them. Creating some clearer definition (and boundary setting) can help not only the intrapsychic but also the physical.

Living with chronic illness requires that we pay attention and learn the language of our bodies. You could argue that every human should learn the language and pay close attention to how their bodies speak. For empaths and highly sensitive people, the cost can be higher for ignoring the symptoms that their bodies share. Learning how to pivot when our tolerance runs low, learning how to set boundaries with our care and attention, these are essential.

What happens when our bodies say "NO?" When they no longer can tolerate what they once could? When they speak louder and louder through physical symptoms, trying to gain our attention? How do we respond?

Our bodies speak the language of our emotional experiences through signs and symptoms. We may feel annoyed or inconvenienced when our health takes a detour, but often what we need to do is learn the language of our bodies.

We can feel like a failure when we fall short of a goal and when something unexpected interrupts our plans. What if we learn to extend self-compassion and seek to embrace the imperfection, rather than berating ourselves for being less than perfect?

When we live with the seasons, we align with the energy. Winter energy is not the time for New Year's resolutions. They are better left until the spring energy begins to rise in February.

Reflections on Guillermo del Toro's film "Frankenstein" and what it means for a life fully alive

Self-care is investing in oneself, and not giving all of our resources, energy, and care away. Investing in ourselves provides protection against burnout and one-sided relationships, both of which leave us feeling empty and emotionally bankrupt.

What makes you feel most alive? What does a Life Fully Alive look like for you? Today we explore how living a life fully alive differs from being on autopilot and sleepwalking through life.

Dr. Sparacino discusses how to reclaim the holidays for ourselves. She shares some personal dynamics from her own family of origin and what she did to break the cycle.

Dr. Christine Sparacino explores how self-care is holding on to some good for yourself, rather than giving all your good away. She discusses how people-pleasing, sensitivity and empathy can cause a person to give away all of themselves and struggle with burnout and depletion. She offers an alternative option - holding on to some good for yourself.

A new clinical consultation group is starting December 5th. If you are a clinician in private practice, read more about this opportunity.

Empaths, highly sensitive people, helpers, and healers often feel guilty for saying "no," for potentially letting another person down. But are we saying yes as a reflex, without thinking? Are we giving too much of ourselves away? And at what cost to our well-being? The guilt we feel is a false warning, not to be heeded. Instead, can we reframe the guilt as an indicator that we are on to something and tolerate it long enough to attend to our needs.

If we know our capacity, where our limits are, and what depletes us, we can stop burnout before it starts. This is true self-care, not the nice things you do for yourself. Do you know what depletes you?

Self-care is knowing the limits of your energy and respecting your capacity. We must take this vital information about ourselves and utilize in a way that honors the relationship we have with ourselves. The world can be overstimulating and real self-care is paying attention to what we need and giving it to ourselves.

To the over-responsible, this one is for you. If you fawn and people please and hold all the responsibility in relationships, there is another way to live and to be in connection.

Dr. Sparacino breakdowns what psychoanalytic psychotherapy is. She discusses how she works with clients, how long sessions are, how often and how long therapy is, her focused specialities and everything else you wanted to know.

We explore the power of psychotherapy to help teach us how to accurately name our experiences and inner world.

Dr. Sparacino explores when self-care is not enough to replenish the depletion we experience. She shares her personal experience of a job that cost her too much. She poses the question - How can we stop letting ourselves be depleted? How can we respect our capacity?

Dr. Sparacino explores play as a form of self-care. Read more to learn about her favorite types of childhood play and how she is playing today.

What is self-care actually? If it's not the pleasurable activities and pampering appointments I make with myself, what is it really? Dr. Sparacino provides the answer here and shows what self-care as a way of life looks like.

Sensitivity and the HSP is explored. Maybe our sensitivity, even high sensitivity, is a superpower and not a liability. Read more to learn how to honor your sensitivity, understand it, and use it to transform your life.

Dr. Christine Sparacino shares a book review of Elissa Altman's newest book "Permission: The New Memoirist and The Courage to Create." She draws parallels to the therapy life, what the client often struggles with and worries about, and the job of the memoir writer. In the book, Altman extends permission to us all to share our stories and discusses the importance of speaking our truths.

After reading Glynnis MacNicol's book "I'm Mostly Here to Enjoy Myself," Dr. Christine Sparacino drew some parallels to her own life and possibly the lives of her readers. She speaks of enjoying oneself and writing a "thesis of pleasure" rather than sparse moments of joy.

Dr. Christine Sparacino shares a favorite place that she likes to travel to - Aruba. She reminds us in this post to savor the moments and to enjoy the rhythms that we create, on vacation and at home. She invites us all to create our own happy places.

Dr. Sparacino introduces herself in a somewhat unconventional way. She provides a snapshot of her background and ventures in to the new identity she is building for herself. An introduction turned declaration of sorts.

Dr. Sparacino examines the ways in which we approach self-care and how the approach does not fix the problem of burnout or compassion fatigue. She outlines all the things that self-care is not and offers you an alternative idea.

We have been conditioned to believe that self-care is a list of activities that we engage in, to fill ourselves back up and to release stress. What if we have been told a lie? That instead, true self-care is a way of life. A way of honoring our capacity. A way of honoring our needs and attending to ourselves first before we care for everyone else.

This essay explores how chronic illness upends our plans, how we are going about our days, only to be surprised by illness. What do we do? How do we respond? Do we push forward or respond with kindness to our infirmed bodies

The Wisdom Within: The art of listening to our bodies workshop is starting in August! Get on the waitlist today! Space is limited.

This essay discusses Irvin Yalom's idea of the Awakening Experience and how there are these moments and circumstances in our lives that shift our perspective and allow us to see more clearly. The COVID pandemic was one such awakening experience for many people. It served as a catalyst for re-examining our lives, how we wanted to live, what was important to us. Dr. Christine Sparacino shares her experience of what awakened her and what changes she made in her own life.

Today we address anxiety and tips for managing one's anxiety. Dr. Christine Sparacino shares candidly about her experiences with anxiety and the ways in which she moves out of a trauma freeze response. She offers simple strategies for taking care of our emotional health and wellbeing.

Dearest Reader,‍ A few years ago, I was talking with a friend, discussing a book that we had both read. Our conversation took place in 2020, during the lockdown. It was a time when I was questioning my life, how I was living my days. In the book, an African proverb was quoted. “‘When death finds you, may it find you alive.”

What if I told you that self-care is a myth? That the way we think about it is all wrong. What if I told you that you do not need more self-care in your life? That the problem is deeper than that. That self-care is being used as a scapegoat. What if I told you that a lack of self-care is not the problem? That instead, life is out of balance, that there are too many withdrawals and not enough deposits in your emotional bank account. What if I told you that we have been conditioned to give all the good away? That we don’t hold on to enough for ourselves.

People often come to therapy not knowing what to expect. This can cause anxiety in the beginning of therapy. What will the appointments be like? What can I expect in the 50 minutes that we meet? Who leads the conversation? What do I talk about? How long will it take until I feel better?

I recently read a newly published book by Galit Atlas called Emotional Inheritance. Galit writes about the trauma that is unprocessed by the generations that precede us (our parents, grandparents, great grandparents), and how that trauma manifests in our lives. She calls it “the legacy of trauma,” something we inherit.